The following two calls are from a radio show I hosted called STATIC on WNSU. Basically, we just sat around talking to people who called in and making crazy phone calls. This is the first time that they have ever been replayed since they were originally aired several years ago. Luckily, someone was taping the show and gave me a copy of the calls, but since they were taped from a radio they are a little bit staticy (no pun intended)                
                                                                                                                      

This call was made to an 800 number we got from a television commercial about a product called the BIO DIET. My co-host Velveeta (pretty cheesy name huh?) and I are using really ridiculous Edith & Archie (from All In the Family) voices while talking to this poor operator Rob, telling him how sick the BIO DIET is making me (I play Edith) yet still trying to order more of it while at the same time canceling it (yes, I know it's confusing). I don't think Rob figures out it's a crank call until I start chanting old Michael Jackson lyrics and play a sound effect of a huge poop emitting from me like a rocket.

  Edith:   Tell him that if I don't get normal poopies, I'm gonna get mad.

Archie:   It's not normal for the poop to be green, is that right Rob?

   Rob:   Yes, that's correct.

Listen to the world's only REVERSE informercial. Yes, that's right, reverse. I call up the RIO HAIR hot line (which is just another one of those lame ordering services) as John Blackman complete with a studio audience, a guest, and trucks and helicopters of Rio Hair being delivered in the background. The woman on the other end of the phone seems brain damaged. She doesn't seem to notice any the sounds going on in the background until she finally hangs up when I start playing sound effects of telegraphs coming in telling me that Rio Hair can burn you up like a Frito Lay corn chip. Velveeta is also in this one as the guest and doing a pretty crappy voice I might add. Well, every crank call can't win an Oscar, but it's still pretty funny.